Reflections

15 years.

I’ve been married for 15 years. WOW. On the one hand it feels like forever because we have been together long enough that we know each other and are used to each other and this is our life and there is nothing else, yet on the other hand, I still often feel like that young, naive newlywed who’s heart skips a beat when she sees her groom and who giggles a little when he smiles at her just right.

I’m extremely happy in my marriage. Is it perfect? Oh, heck no! Remember, I’m a little bit (or a whole lot) of crazy. And we’re still two different people with two different minds and two different ways of going about things. Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye and sometimes we argue (or just sit in silence and stew. Or maybe that’s just me again.). That’s just life. But I really do love my husband. I’m so glad I married Ches. There has never ever ever been a regret in marrying him. He is absolutely wonderful and perfect for me.

15 years. It does sound like a long time, doesn’t it? And yet… years from now when I’m saying “We’ve been married for 25 years… 35 years… 45 years…” 15 really won’t seem like that long, will it?

1 year.

Collin turned 1 year old yesterday. I can hardly believe it. On the one hand he is just a natural part of the family and we can hardly remember our family life without him. I can look at pictures from a couple of years ago and think, “Who are we missing? Oh, Collin wasn’t born yet!” On the other hand, this was the fastest year! Collin is my last baby and I really enjoy the little baby stage that most people seem to find annoying. I really do love to hold a tiny sleeping baby and just sit on the couch for hours. I could do that forever. I love the little sounds that only a newborn makes. I love how soft their skin is. I love the smell right after a bath. And yet…

I love how Collin smiles whenever I walk into a room. How he spent the first couple of weeks making tentative steps only to me. How he holds my hand to walk down the hallway. How he splashes me on purpose during bath time. How he has dirty legs and skinned knees from crawling outside. How he picks up the comb and stabs me in the head as he attempts to comb my hair. How he wants whatever food I’m eating. How he wants me to read “Barnyard Dance” to him 15 times in a row. How he is so ticklish and laughs and laughs and laughs. How he gives me huge hugs and bites me when he kisses. How he stands at the front window and gets excited when he sees his dad come home. How happy he gets when I say, “Want to go get your brothers?” How he babbles and screeches and sings. How he bangs on the piano or uses a drumstick to bang on the floor. How he wants me to watch Blue’s Clues with him because I sing along with Steve. How he will smile for the camera once, then try to grab it out of my hands.

I am the luckiest woman in the world. I have Ches for a husband. Ches gave me Aiden, Dallin, Parker, and Collin. I have everything. EVERYTHING.

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