Hello, blog. How are you? I know, I know. It’s been a while. So much has happened to me, and most of it has been internal. It’s a daily struggle for me to find myself and be myself. I’ve let you suffer, dear blog, and for that, I am sorry. But I have to tell you some exciting news:
I am not yelling at my kids anymore. This is not a yelling house. Not anymore.
I read an article the other day where this woman described how she thought she was alone with her kids and was caught by the handyman. She was caught screaming and yelling, red in the face, completely out of control. And she was humiliated. It dawned on her that she doesn’t act that way when she knows others are around, so why does she do it when she is alone with the kids? She decided she wasn’t going to yell for a year. That’s right. One full year of *no* yelling. 365 days of keeping herself in check.
A lightbulb went off in my head. I don’t know if I can do a full year, but I decided I’m going to do a month. One month and let’s see where it goes from there. Here is what I hope to gain:
1. Control of my own temper. If I’m in a bad mood, why do I have to take it out on my kids?
2. A happier home. Sure, the kids will have their moments that drive me insane, but I am going to find a better way to reach them.
3. More conversations. When we’re upset and yelling, no one is listening. When we are talking we can take turns talking and listening and then understanding.
4. A happier me. I am so often pretty miserable and unhappy with myself. I want to be a more positive person. I want that to reflect on my children. I don’t want them growing up and remembering that Mom was an angry, sad person. I want them to remember my smiles and laughter. I want them to remember *good* things about their mom. Which brings me to…
5. Happy memories. They will have a good childhood with more positive influences. Where do those influences come from? Me. I want them to think fondly on their childhood and the home I am raising them in. Aiden only has 7 years left in the home. They are going to be the best 7 years I can make them.
So… one month. I can do it. One month and I’m pretty sure it’s going to change our lives.