I have decided that I am now a runner.
This is a big deal. I hate running. I mean, I really, really hate running. Always have. I have bad knees (have had since I was 9 years old). I’m fat now, so I have hip problems. I get winded easily. I get migraines easily.
However, I’m tired of being so fat and being so winded and of just not feeling good about myself. I hear that you have to push to get past a certain point and then running is just enjoyable. I honestly think that’s just bull, but I’m willing to try. I’m not going out with the intention of running a marathon. I’m just trying to do something different that’s good for me and will make me a better person.
And yes, I want to be skinny again. I don’t know if this will do it (I understand I have to change my diet as well as exercise), but it can’t hurt, right?
Wait. Actually, it will hurt. Running hurts. I hate running. But I’m going to do it anyway. I have a plan for when I’m going to start (it’s going to be another month or two so it’ll be cool enough for me to run without me feeling like I’m going to die of heatstroke), and I have a time (Monday and Wednesday mornings while Parker is in preschool). Until I can start doing that, I’m walking at night with a friend, and that should help get me a bit more active again.
The thing about getting into shape and losing weight is that you have to be so completely invested in it. You have to be strict about your diet (and I’m not talking about a diet where you are denying yourself of anything. I’m talking about what food and the amount of food you actually put into your mouth. Not going on a diet, but your actual diet.) and you have to be strict about being active. I am so tired of hearing about how I should go to a gym x number of hours a week and do x number of hours of strength training and x number of cardio and have a personal trainer to make sure I’m getting everything… I can’t do that! 1) I don’t have that kind of money, and B) I don’t have that kind of time.
Running is free. There are sidewalks and paths all around where I live. I am lucky enough to live in a state that has such beautiful winters and I can be outside, running, during the day. I don’t have time with the raising of my kids and playing in an orchestra to go to the gym at night, and I’m not a morning person so I can’t go to the gym in the morning before Ches leaves at school (besides, marching band starts at 6 am. I would have to get up at a horrific time in the morning to go wherever I needed to go, workout, and get home in time for him to leave in time for school. So not happening!!). I have two kids in school all day and one in preschool all morning. I can take the time to work out then.
I have a good friend that is a nutritionist. I have already talked to her a bit, and she is going to help me be more accountable for what I’m eating. I want to do this the right way.
I will probably grumble and growl a lot. No, not probably. I will grumble and growl a lot. But once I start seeing results and I start feeling good about what I’m doing, perhaps that will change. I’ll let you know.
Most of all, wouldn’t it be great to be a good example for my kids. They need to see their mother take care of herself and be able to run and keep up with them. Yes, I want to be skinny, but even more I want to be a better mother. Taking care of myself physically is one of the best ways I can be better mother, right?