This is a story of a woman who has tried my patience and who I don’t want to gossip about but after church today, I’m more than a little frustrated. Enough is enough. And too many of you asked on Facebook what I was talking about, so I’m giving you the loooooooong version. You love me. 🙂
As my faithful readers know, last year I was the Primary Chorister at church. That meant I was in charge of the music for the children — teaching them songs and leading them and such. It was a really hard job for me and I did not enjoy it. I think I did an okay job at it, but after our yearly Primary Program, I was more than ready for someone else to take over. In January I was released from that calling, and someone else got the job. I was asked if I would be willing to sub every so often, and I said yes. I subbed for her quite a few times (at the very last minute, I might add) and talked to her a bit on the phone to answer any questions she had. The new music leader asked me for any materials I used, and I gave her a couple of things I had, but there just wasn’t much to give. I wasn’t given anything because there really isn’t a budget for it, and besides, it was a new year and the kids were learning all new songs. The games I had made and the visual aids I made were for the old songs they had learned and performed already. They didn’t need that stuff anymore.
A couple of months later, I was at the park after school with my kids and a lot of the neighborhood moms and their kids. It’s what we do here. heh. Anyway, the woman who became the new primary chorister was putting some visual aids together and talking to some of the other moms about the whole thing and complaining that she hadn’t been given anything. I don’t know if she didn’t realize I was sitting there (2 feet away… not hidden by anything… talking to friends over there…), but I didn’t feel it necessary to say anything about it to her. Someone else said, “You know, other music leaders in the past have just made things on their own. But if there’s no money, they draw pictures on the chalkboard or whatever. You do what you can.” I appreciated my friend for saying that and thought that would be the end of it.
And then the new music leader said, “Well, I guess I just care more than other people.”
I got up and went to play with my children. I didn’t need to hear anymore. I guess I just didn’t care enough about the Primary children. Whatever.
This woman has aggravated me on a bunch of other issues since then, and I feel like I have been more than nice to her and supportive of her (even when I absolutely didn’t want to be). Maybe I’m two faced and totally fake to be smiling and nice to her and then go and complain about her to my husband and my close friends, but that’s me. Two faced and fake. You probably all know that by now.
It has been a long time since any of the stuff about music has been mentioned and I thought everyone was over it.
The new music leader is no longer the music leader. Hasn’t been for about 2 months or so.
Today, in Relief Society (the Sunday meeting for our women’s association), we were talking about our talents and how we can use those to serve and uplift and magnify our callings and such. There was a great discussion and I was feeling really edified and uplifted. Really.
And then this women commented. In her comment she said, “When I became the chorister, I was so scared and felt so inadequate. I was given NOTHING to help me out. NO handouts or anything and so I just felt unprepared. So when they put in the new Primary Chorister, I made sure to give her ALL of my handouts and visuals and I told her I would answer any questions she had and just help her out so she would know what to do.”
This woman said more (that I don’t remember exactly what she said, but the gist of it was more of the same), but I sat there like a statue. I determined I wouldn’t change my facial expression or say anything because really, there was nothing to say. She obviously thought I was not supportive of her by not giving her materials (that didn’t exist!). She obviously didn’t remember the advice she had asked me about. She obviously didn’t remember me subbing for her many times and even finding a sub for her a couple of times when I couldn’t do it because of other commitments.
This woman also obviously doesn’t realize how hurtful her comments could be to the people she was talking about. She often says things without thinking about who is there and listening. She has no filter and just says whatever she wants. And that is why I was so upset after church today and put the status on Facebook that I did. Now you know.