I know that you love me. I know that you love to play with me. I know that you love to hang around my legs as I try to cook our meals. I know that you love to jump on my stomach as I lay on the couch or lay down on the floor for a quick break. I know that you love to have me hug you and hold you and kiss you, just not wipe your runny nose. I know that you love to eat my cereal from my bowl because it obviously tastes better than your own cereal in your own bowl. I know that you love to explore the drawers and cabinets that down’t have child-locks on them. I know that you love to play in the water that I’m trying to use in the dishwasher, the clothes washer, the sink of dishes, and my shower. I know that you love to play with my delicate figurines more than your toys because obviously my delicate figurines are more special.
Now, dearest offspring, I can handle all of this. Really I can. But only if you let me take a freakin’ shower so I can wash my hair!! PLEASE!!
Thank you. I love all three of you very much. I’ll be in the bathroom, with the door locked, so don’t set anything on fire, okay?
Love, Your Mommy