Going Through the Motions

 So… Any “Buffy” fans out there?  I’m a huge fan.  I have every season on DVD (thanks Aunt Marisa!!) and the soundtrack from the musical episode on CD (thanks, Lura!!).  Last Friday I was driving out to Ches’ football game and I realized I was in the car all by myself and I didn’t have to take requests from the 2 and 4 years olds, so I could listen to whatever I wanted.  It’s been a while, so I pulled out my Buffy CD and started to listen to “Once More With Feeling”.  By the way, if you haven’t seen this episode of Buffy… well, shame on you.  It was awesome.  And don’t start in on the Scrubs musical episode.  I’ve seen that.  Yes, it’s great, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Buffy!  Seriously!  Joss Whedon is my new master.

Anyway… the first song of the episode is sung by Buffy herself.  It’s entitled “Going Through The Motions”.  You see, Buffy had sacrificed herself at the end of the previous season to save her sister from being sacrificed and thereby saving the world.  She does that kind of thing a lot (her gravestone even said so), and while she has died before (it was only for a couple of minutes), this time she was really gone.  Buried.  Rotting in her grave.  But her friends managed to bring her back with some very powerful magic.  Buffy wasn’t exactly thrilled to be back.  She was dead.  And she said in an earlier episode that she is pretty sure she was in Heaven and she was happy there.  But she couldn’t let her friends ever know of this torment that she has, so she has to let them believe what they did is something that she wanted.

So this song is Buffy patroling one night.  Even though she still goes out fighting vampires and various demons, she just hasn’t felt herself.  It’s a great song.  What gets me is that as I was listening to it, I realized that this song explains how I have been feeling!!  This song is all about me and being a mother of three boys.  Okay, so take out the slaying vampires part, and it’s all about me!!  Take a look at the lyrics.  Maybe you feel or have felt the same:

Buffy:
Every single night
The same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel
This strange estrangement
Nothing here is real
Nothing here is right
I’ve been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows
That I’ve been
Going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart


I was always brave
And kind of righteous
Now I find I’m wavering
Crawl out of you grave
You find this fight just
Doesn’t mean a thing

Vampire:
She ain’t got that swing

Buffy:
Thanks for noticing

Demon and vamps:
She does pretty well with fiends from hell
But lately we can tell
That she’s just
Going through the motions
Faking it somehow

Demon:
She’s not even half the girl she  (buffy slays demon) -owwwww…

Buffy:
Will I stay this way forever
Sleepwalk through my life’s endeavor

Handsome young victim man:
How can I repay-

Buffy:
-Whatever.
I don’t want to be
Going through the motions
Losing all me drive
I can’t even see if this is really me
And I just want to be
Alive

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5 responses to “Going Through the Motions

  1. Never saw that episode, but know how it fits into the general plotline…Those lyrics are really quite sad. And yes, we all have those times when we feel that way. The trick is to keep going through the motions until we get it all together again. Then, while the motions may be the same–we do it with joy and even gratitude.

  2. OH MY GOSH Sariah, I knew you were cool but I had NO idea. I am a Scooby, and YOU are a Scooby too!(I so thought I was alone in the world). I knew there was a reason (besides just being awesome) that I liked you so much. Seriously, I own every season too…and all the songs off by heart. WE are so going to have to meet face to face one of these days!!!!

    K.

  3. I’ve never watched an episode of Buffy – though I saw ads for it and got the general gist (I know, I’m now at the way rock bottom of the cool list) but I agree with your mom about the song. It is a little sad – and I have definitely felt like that from time to time.

  4. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way right now. You have so much on your plate I don’t think you could feel any other way. I think you need a trip to Disneyland. (too bad that isn’t free, eh?)

    SENDING HUGS!

    You may be faking it until you make it, but you are making a difference in the lives of your children and you are so important to all of us. You’ll be back to yourself soon.

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