So I mentioned to you all that there is a girl who is quite needy and wants to be my friend, but I don’t want to be her friend because she’s really kind of wierd (and not the fun, good kind of wierd) and I just can’t deal with her problems in addition to my own, right? Well, there is another girl I know from church that I’m having almost the same dilemna with. I am actually her visiting teacher, so I really can’t just not talk to her and not deal with her. It’s my job to help her out and be her friend. She just has so many issues going on right now, though, that I don’t know how much more I can take.
Her husband was just laid off his job (his second lay off in a few months). She is working at Wal-Mart. They have no cars. They have 4 children. Their youngest, who is maybe 9 months now, has several medical problems and often has doctor’s appointments in Phoenix at the Children’s Hospital. The mom consistantly calls less than an hour before the appointment to ask for a ride. Her husband actually just called me, but I have to pick Aiden up from school at the SAME time as the appointment. AND I have two other children, so how am I supposed to fit my three kids plus her, the baby, and her husband in the van? Actually, I can fit them, but it’s tight. And then I have to sit and wait or drive back out to Phoenix to pick them up??
Let’s see. What else? They can’t afford to pay their rent, so the Church has to pay it for them all the stinkin’ time. They are constantly getting food orders through the Church. And yet they have had a big, flat-screen TV. They moved into a house and decided it was a good idea to get three puppies (they already had a cat and a dog). His brother lives with them, and the brother’s girlfriend and her son was there (and babysitting the kids during the day), but she took off at the beginning of the month, so now this girl can’t work at Wal-Mart because she has no childcare. Oh, and I ran into her at the elementary’s curriculum night, and she told me that she’s really unhappy and she and her husband have almost split up. They still might.
I visit with her, I listen to her, I have made her meals, I have given her rides, I hold the baby, I try to help look for jobs and vehicles and toys… But I just can’t do it anymore. I have my own issues right now! Ches and I are just trying to get our own little family to survive. How can I truely help this girl when we can’t do what we need to do for ourselves?
I know that I should have a better attitude and be grateful for the service I am able to provide for her. I know that I can get lots of blessings from serving others, but if my heart isn’t in it, well, do I still get those blessings? I don’t think I deserve them! I like doing my visiting teaching… but pretty much to the women who are similar to me in personality, goals, and activities. I feel like a huge hypocrite, but this is my attitude. I need to change my perspective, I’m sure. She is still a daughter of God and deserves happiness, but geez! Get your life in order, girl! I’m tired of doing all the work for you! I have my own trials to sort out! I just can’t help anymore!!!