The Grass is Always Greener…

My sister, Lura, graduated on Saturday with her Master’s degree.  She was actually the very first graduate of 2007 at SDSU.  They did the graduate students first, the MFAs first, and being in alphabetical order, Lura was first.  Very cool! 🙂

Congratulations, Lura.  I am immensely proud of you!

Lura got her degree by going to school full-time while she got married, sent her husband to Iraq, and had two babies.  Is this girl not amazing or what??

Lura now has more degrees than I.  Yup, I’m a little jealous.  I am not planning on going to graduate school.  Ever.  I would like to, but I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me.  Erica is still in the midst of her undergraduate studies, but she has big plans so she will have more advanced degrees than I.  I’ll be proud of each of her accomplishments, but in the back of my head will be all sorts of what-ifs.

What if I hadn’t goofed off and skipped my English Composition class so much?  What if I had changed my major to journalism like I thought of doing?  What if I decided not to return to Ricks that third year and go on my mission, thereby not getting married to Ches?  What if I had gone to a different school than Idaho to finish my undergrad studies?  Where would I be today?  Would I have more degrees, a career, my own place?  Would I be married and have children?  Would I be a newspaper writer or a freelance writer? 

Really, it all doesn’t matter.  I DID go back to Ricks, I DIDN’T go on a mission, I DID marry Ches, I DIDN’T change my major, I DIDN’T put in the effort in some of my classes that I should have, I DID get my degree from Idaho, and I DID have three beautiful children that I stay home with.

In some alternate universe, I am single, living in Seattle or Chicago with a great little apartment, I write for magazines and am working on my novel, I travel a lot, I date occasionally, and I am so happy to be an aunt, sister, daughter, and friend.  But in that alternate universe, I am wondering what my life would have been like if I had done all the things that I have done in this universe.  I am truely happy to have made the decisions I did (okay, maybe not the skipping class one, but still…) and to have the life I have.  On days where I wonder and get envious of my sisters or my friends, I have to remind myself that they worked hard to get what they did, and I’m sure they are plagues with the same kinds of questions as I am.

The grass may well be greener on the other side of the fence, but I’m on this side, and if I look around, I’ll see it’s pretty stinkin’ green here, too.

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9 responses to “The Grass is Always Greener…

  1. wow, that lura is impressive! but so are you. 😉

    the best part about “what if’s” to me are… you can always explore some of it. you obviously can’t undo where you are now (nor would you want to) but you can always incorporate some of the what if with the what is. life is pretty amazing that way.

  2. I really like the way you expressed [and explored] the ‘what if’ scenarios. We all have our what ifs. You will have many more before this life is done. Isn’t it amazing what opportunities we each of us have and how the decisions we make one day really realy do affect the choices of the next.

    Now, about skipping classes young lady…

  3. Well, you know, Sariah, I had to do *something* before you did. It’s hard having an older sister do everything before you do, so I got my Master’s.

    And you’re right. I have a ton of “what-ifs” of my own.

  4. I’m really glad you posted this. I often wonder about the what ifs, and as long as I think about it long enough, and thoroughly, like you did, I come to the same conclusion, that my life is pretty good this way, too. Zoo brings up a good point, we can still add some of those other things into our lives — I should really do that.

  5. Thanks for this…it has helped me reflect. My hubby and I are always saying what if. However, we are trying to just move forward, with faith and hard work, and know that all is well! I totally look up to you…because your grass is DEFINITELY greener than mine!!! 😀

  6. It’s like our drought tolerant grass here in my yard. While everyone else’s yard is getting green earlier mine does eventually turn green, just when all of their’s turns brown because it’s too hot.

    I know that doesn’t make any sense but I guess I’m just saying we are all going to be green at different times and for different reasons. We’re all different varieties.

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