Living in the Reality World

Everyone who reads my blog regularly — or at least has read my blog for some time now — knows that I am a reality TV junkie. I can’t help it. I love the stuff and I don’t care just how dumb it can get. I get all sorts of joy watching people make complete fools out of themselves in front of millions of people. I also get joy out of those who show great triumphs, but we don’t get to make fun of them. That isn’t fun. It’s fun to make fun of the idiots.

Sunday night was the season finale of Survivor: Fiji. Ches and I have been watching Survivor since the first season, although we didn’t watch all of the Africa season because it was just plain horrible. Not fun to watch. You could tell no one there was having any fun, either. Anyway, Fiji was a good season. I think we saw the best upset in a Tribal Council in Survivor history when Edgardo was surprisingly (to him and the “Four Horsemen”) voted out. Earl and Yao just grinned and I just laughed and laughed. That was some great stuff. This season we also saw a lot of people falling. I think the producers of Survivor make it a requirement to have at least one Challenge be blindfolded just so we can watch the contestants run into poles, each other, and almost thin air, too. My favorite fall this season would have to be the most replayed one of all: when Michelle was shouting out directions to a blindfolded Yao Man and somehow she fell off the side of her platform. Ches can’t stop laughing for several minutes everytime that clip is aired.

I was very happy to have Earl win Survivor. I loved the way he played the game. He is one smart guy, and I was surprised to find out by watching the Reunion Aftershow that Earl has never really watched Survivor, doesn’t know the game that well, and didn’t even know he was going to be on the show until 2 days before he flew out to Fiji. That man played that game!! If he didn’t win, I was not happy with the idea of one of the other two in the finals to be the winner. Cassandra seems sweet and helpful and all, but she didn’t deserve to be there! The goal of Survivor is to “out wit, out play, out last” (no, I don’t remember the correct order), and all she did was out last others by riding on the coattails of the right alliance and staying under the radar. There was no wit about it, there was no playing the game. She never screwed anyone over (so why some people on the jury seemed so angry at her and so hell-bent to make her a bad guy is beyond me), but she just didn’t really play. Dreamz is a complete idiot as far as I’m concerned. I loved that Yao described him as having genius moments, but no discipline or education in which to harness those moments and get the right, good use out of them. Well, that’s basically what he said. Anyway, I’m upset that Dreamz seems to think that by constantly saying “It’s just a game” that he is justified in accepting the truck from Yao Man and not living up to his word. Yes, it’s just a game, but when the game is done, YOU have the truck that someone else won, Dreamz. YOU have a vehicle worth 60-something thousand dollars, and YOU don’t even have the decency to be upfront about what you consider to be a betrayal or a lie. Dreamz just tried to find excuses and talk his way out of everything. Drove. Me. Crazy. So, Yao would have won, which would have been great because he is probably one of the greatest contestants in Survivor history — he’s smart, friendly, athletic, caring, honest, respectful… I swear there is nothing in the world wrong with this guy! No, I don’t know him personally, and I’m sure I could be way off because I’ve only watched him on TV, but that’s okay. No one has to agree with me. That’s why this is MY blog, right? 🙂

If I were the Ford Motor Company, I think it would be a great marketing strategy to give Yao Man a truck. Yao let Dreamz keep the truck because Yao, unlike Dreamz, is a man of his word. Yao was voted off, so not only did he not get the prize that he DID win, but he didn’t even have a shot for the million dollars or the $500,000 second place prize (I wonder what they are giving now that it’s a final three, not final two. Hmmmm.). At anyrate, it is very clear that Yao is one of the most popular Survivor players ever (others would be Rupert, Colby, Stefanie… okay, well, those are the likeable ones at least). If Ford had given him a truck and said “We think you deserve one, too” and made a huge publicity stunt out of surprising him at the reunion show or something, I have to wonder how that would affect new Ford sales. I’m sure it couldn’t hurt!!

Anyway, congrats to Earl on the big win and on getting every single vote from the jury. That was a first. Earl asked not for the sympathy vote or the anything like that. He asked for the respect vote, and I think he not only completely earned it, but that is why he got every vote. He got the respect vote. (everyone can now give your happy sigh: awwwwww.)

*****

Last week was the season finale of The Amazing Race: All Stars. Now this is my favorite reality show. I love it because I truely believe I can compete. I hope to one day. I think I have a grat shot at winning, if I compete with my husband. We’d make a great team, what with his amazing sense of direction, my inability to make a decision, my short temper, his stubbornness, and our drive to make a better life for our family. How many Mormons/married couple/band teachers would make that good of TV, huh??? 😀

I am sad to say that Ches and I missed watching the TAR finale because we were on a bus with about 30 exhausted 8th graders, on our way home from Disneyland. I know who won and all, so I’ve been trying to imagine what the episode would have been like:

Beauty Queen 1: Oh, we’re so beautiful. We are going to win this because we are so beautiful and because we are female and because we’re blonde.

Beauty Queen 2:Yeah. And we’re so hot, no one else can stand it. Who needs brains when you have this kind of a face, really?? 

BQ !: Oh, but we would NEVER admit to using our beauty to win things. Even though we do.  All the time. 

BQ 2:  Because we are so beautiful, and that’s all that matters.  We’re best friends.

BQ 1:  Except that you’re getting on my nerves.  I’m so pretty.

BQ 2:  Stop talking.  I don’t want to be friends anymore.  I’m way prettier.  Are you even a real blonde?

BQ 1:  Too bad we came in first so many times and now we have all these trips we have to share.

BQ 2:  Well, since I’m really beautiful, I’m sure no one would mind if you just give them to me.  I did just get married after all.

BQ 1:  What?  You did?  When did that happen?  I would have been a prettier bride, I bet.

Mirna (in her really odd, fake accent that she puts on only when speaking to people in foreign countries): Oh, my friend, we will win, yes we will. We will win because Charla is a small person, and we can use that to our advantage. Ah, yes, my friend. How do you read, by the way, because I tend to forget. Or I only read a part of the clue. And then I yell at my cousin for not doing as much. Did I mention that I am a lawyer? Charla, you are not doing your part! You MUST work harder! Why do I have to do everything??

Charla (in her really odd, fake, but not as thick accent that she puts on only when speaking to people in foreign countries): Yell at me some more, Mirna. It’s not getting through. Yes, my friend, we will win because my cousin is a rude, annoying twit who pushes to the front of lines, then cries at the thought that anyone else can be a little rude.  Excuse me, my friend, we were here and so of course that means we must win.

Eric:  Yeah, we’re gonna win.  I’m a chavanistic jerk who doesn’t know anything about my girlfriend other than the fact that she has a great rack.  Oh and the Guidos are gay and I hate them.  But I swear I’m not a homophobe.

Danielle (laughing):  Ha ha, Eric, you’re so lame.  Yeah, I’m pretty hot, huh.  But I think our relationshi–

Eric:  Shut up, Danielle.  You don’t know what you’re talking about.  But look at her boobs, folks!  Wow!

Danielle (crying):  Why are you being like this?  I’m working so hard and you are just so mean to me and when you star–

Eric:  Hey, my frat boy lifestyle gets me all the babes I want.  I should’ve gone out with your friend.  But you have the nicer rack.  Seriously.  So we’ll win.  Oh, and I hate Danny and Ozwald.  They were my friends, but they aren’t.  And they’re gay.  But not as annoyingly gay as the Guidos.  Hey, have you guys seen Danielle’s big chest?  It’s amazing.

Danielle (still crying):  I want to go home.

Rob:  Oh, are people still watching this show?  Ambuh and I were eliminated weeks ago.

Amber:  Ha ha.  Oh, I know, right.  Ha ha.  Who would want to watch it now?

Rob:  Red Sox RULE!

Phil:  Geez, the egos on these people.  They aren’t real stars.  This is reality TV.  And if one more person tries to hug or kiss me…

*****

Have you guys heard about the big spoiler on The Bachelor:  An Officer and A Gentleman?? Now, I don’t actually watch this show, and I never have, so whatever I say here can only be taken with a grain of salt.  However, first of all… How cheesey is the title this season?  Sheesh, just because he’s a Marine. 

Anyrate, I guess the girl who gets (got?  Is it over now?) picked in the end let the cat out of the bag early and told that she is the one he picked.  Wow.  I would NOT want to be her accountant or lawyer as they go through the contract and try to get her out of paying whatever fines/damages by not keeping her big mouth shut!

Actually, that’s all I really had to say about The Bachelor because I just don’t care about a bunch of women throwing themselves at a guy on TV.  Maybe if they started having immunity challenges for the women on the Bachelor than involved blindfolds and them running into things really hard I would find it more interesting.  Nah.  I’ll just go watch some America’s Funniest Home Videos.  Real people there!!

*****

Next time, I will talk about America’s Next Top Model, The Hills, and perhaps a game show or two.

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4 responses to “Living in the Reality World

  1. dude, I have a nasty feeling you made fun of the boston accent/attitude in your post. oh man, now the rabid bostonian/greatest is in great physical AND emotional pain. *sigh*
    and btw, the red sox do rule! that’s why we annihilated the tigers last night and have the best record in the AL!

    Nope, not making fun of the accent or attitude. I’m making fun of Rob. And it’s not even really making fun of him a whole lot. BTW, how’s the burn? Going down at all yet?

  2. You forgot Mirna yelling “Stay in school”.

    So you think you can dance should be starting soon and how about american idol. Were you a “Blaker girl” I thought that was funny.

  3. hey, it was good talking to you yesterday even if i was drugged and worried about TIME! heh. i’m not really back to write just yet, if ever, but i hooked myself up so i could keep up with all of you guys.

    i honestly wanted charla and whatsherhead to win. i don’t have a reason. maybe i like midgets. (THAT IS NOT A DIG!)

  4. Charla and Mirna’s fake accents seriously cracked me up!!! I wanted them to win though. I only caught half of this season of TAR because I *HATE* rob and amber. Just seeing them on TV bugs me.

    Your discription of the final episode was MUCH funnier than the real one 🙂

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