I have been asked to speak in church in two weeks. I haven’t had to speak in church since, well, since we lived in Idaho. It’s been a while.
I actually enjoy speaking in church. Sure, I get nervous. Sure, I never feel quite prepared. Sure, I wish my voice didn’t sound so wierd in the mic (I don’t think my voice sounds nearly as low and tired as it does when I hear it on a recording or through a mic). However, I love researching the topic and praying for guidance in what to say and the opportunity to get up in front of a large crowd and make a fool of myself.
It’s been known to happen.
When we first moved to Preston, we were asked to speak on music. First, Dr. B. (who used to be the Bishop of the ward but was now the Sacrament Meeting chorister) spoke and basically introduced us since we were new in town, then I got to play my flute, then I spoke, then Ches spoke. Dr. B.’s talk wsa very short. I mostly remember him saying that in this small town, there were lots of teachers, lots of doctors, lots of lawyers, but there was only one band teacher. He made it known that he thought Ches’ job was one of the most important, if not the most important there is in town. Talk about humbling!
Well, I played my piece, then had to immefiately speak. I had never done that before. usually I am asked to either play or to speak, not both. As many of you who have played a special musical number in church may have noticed, it seems that whatever speaker follows the musical number often says something to the effect of, “That was so beautiful. Thank you for that. It was just so wonderful.” So, since I was speaking, but felt that I needed a breath first, I proceeded to thank myself for playing. I wanted a little laugh, and I got it. It was a spur of the moment thing, and I can’t believe I did that. That won’t happen this time (since I won’t be playing my lute, too!), so I can just get on with my talk.
When I was going to Ricks, my roommate, Jolene, and I came home one day to find a message saying the Bishop had called looking for both of us. We kidded a lot about what kind of trouble we could be in (“Oh no! Did he find out about our prank calling the dean of admissions?? Hahahahahaha!), and once we got a hold of him, Bishop Marriot asked us to speak in church.
Another girl spoke first, then it was my turn. I’m sure I made some little embarrassing cracks in there, as I usually do because I find that when I’m nervous I try to get people to laugh at me. However, I don’t remember much about my own talk because Jolene followed me. To introduce herself, she mentioned we had been a little worried about why Bishop called. She then dead panned, “Yeah, we were worried it had something to do with our streaking incident.”
There were some chuckles, and she went immediately into her talk, forgetting to say, “Just kidding!” None of us in our apartment though anything of it, since Jolene was always comeing up with these hilarious one-liners, and we laughed later in the meeting as the Bishop joked that perhaps he needed to call the two of us into his office.
Our downstairs neighbors didn’t find a bit of it amusing. Those six girls really thought Jolene was serious! They confronted the two of us, and that’s when we found out that about a week earlier, a couple of people had actually gone streaking past their front window (the living room windows in these apartments were very large… almost completely floor to ceiling). Because they had actually be streaked, they thought Jolene was telling the truth and that she and I were the ones who had done it! I think we just stood there for a minute or two with our jaws on the floor. It was a joke! And even if it wasn’t, why would we joke about it in Sacrament Meeting?? Whatever.
I have a friend who once gave a talk and used the words crap and sucks several times. She was so embarassed. I don’t think it was that big of a deal. For one thing, it was a student ward, so it’s not like she was being a bad example to any little children. For another, it was just funny. To me.
So yes, we’ve all been known to say some crazy things while trying to be spiritual. We’ll see what happens to me in 2 weeks (which may actually be pushed back an extra week because I’m supposed to go see ABQ that weekend. Woot!!).