Sometimes, I Just Need an Outlet

Today is one of those days where I just want to write and write, but I actually don’t have anything of importance to say. I have had this need inside me for several days now, but I’m so involved in getting this medical assistance thing figured out and trying not to go into labor that I actually can’t think of anything else.

The good news is that I got all my faxes sent. Hopefully the people who are supposed to fill out the forms and fax them back to the agency did that right away. I did add a note asking them to quickly do this for me.

You see? There it is, taking over my every thought process. I wonder what it is like to be a normal person who only has to worry about the upcoming birth and not about 5000 other things that are related to the upcoming birth, but that I shouldn’t have to worry about at this stage. Hmmmm.

More good news… my new Visiting Teachers have asked to throw me a baby shower. I don’t actually need anything (this is our third boy after all, and he’s due just three days before Aiden’s birthday. That should take care of everything), but I will never refuse free food and gifts. They asked me to make a list of what I would like or what I need. So the list is going to be nice and short: diapers, baby wipes, Diaper Genie refills, a Baby Bjorn, and a bassinette.

My mom called this morning with her flight info. I can’t wait for her to get here. I just want someone here with me, helping me. I’m in so much pain and everything is such an effort, and I feel like I’m the worst mother to Aiden and Dallin right now because of it. My temper is very short and my energy low.

I really can’t wait to be a normal human being again. Really. Just a few more months until I’ll start feeling like a person. Bear with me folks. This is a hard journey for me.

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5 responses to “Sometimes, I Just Need an Outlet

  1. Yay for unneeded but wonderfully surprising baby shower! Yay for grandma coming out to help out!

    I had written it in the previous baby related post but I’ll write it in this one too; even the “normal” pregnant mom is freaking out over every little thing those last two months too. It doesn’t help that you have extra headache with moving and switching doctors, that doesn’t make it fair, it’s already stressful enough.

    Hopefully the paperwork gets taken care of quickly and you’re able to see your doctor before the delivery.

  2. Yay for all the good newses!

    If you’re looking for a list of “mommy-savers” I really really recommend a Maya Wrap and/or a Patapum, you’ll get more longevity out of them than a Bjorn. (My two cents, anyway.)

    Good Luck!

  3. A baby shower would be a great thing for you right now. A party will distract you from the wearying details of all the other stuff.

  4. Yeah, a party! Always fun, especially when you are the guest of honor, so all you have to do is to enjoy!

    I’m looking forward to being there for you, too. I do know somewhat of how you feel with the move et al. The Dr thing WILL be all sorted out in time. [reread and repeat the last sentence as needed!] See you soon 😀

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