The Act of Selflessness

I have this friend that I have known since the 5th grade. I was the new kid, and she was put in line in front of me to help me find my way. She had on these really cool tie-dye, hightop, Converse shoes, so I complimented Sam on her shoes. We became best friends and within the week we were inseperable. I moved away as soon as school was out that year, but we have stayed in contact off and on over the years. We still email and IM every now and then.

Sam is now married with a stepson and two boys she has given birth to. She sounds very happy in her life and in her faith. Several months ago, when I was breaking the news of my surprise pregnancy, Sam let me know that she, too, was pregnant. I was soooo excited. Our boys are the same age (within months… except for the older stepson, but he’s about the age of my nephew, I think), and I thought how cool that would be that we would continue to have kids the same age. However, she burst my bubble a little bit.

This wasn’t her baby. She is being a surrogate mother for another woman she knows.

At first I was stunned. I had heard of surrogate pregnancies, but I never actually knew anyone to do that. After a moment of some confusion on my part, I got really excited again. You see, I know think Sam is the most selfless person I know.

Being pregnant, for me, is NO picnic. It isn’t for most women. Sure, some say they feel best when they are pregnant, and maybe they do. If you are one of those women, well, good for you. I, however, hate being pregnant with every ounce of my being. I love having my kids, but I hate the 9 months leading up to the big event. Anyrate, back to my friend Sam.

Pregnancy is so hard on a woman’s body, and yet Sam doesn’t care. She is doing this for a friend. To have this little being inside of you for so long, this being that you can feel move around, that you hear a hearbeat, that you can see really clear pictures of their face, hands, feet, beating heart… to have all that and know that you are not taking home this little being. Wow. I always feel for those that give up their babies for adoption. That must be the most curageous thing in the world. And now Sam isn’t just going through all of this to give the baby up to some stranger in another part of the country or something, but she is giving this baby to the rightful parents… close friends. How amazing is that?

I have gotten a couple of emails lately from Sam. Baby Kaitlyn (she already has a name!!) and Sam are doing great. Both are happy and healthy. There is only 9 more weeks until Baby Kaitlyn enters this world. That is the good news.

Kristin (Kaitlyn’s mom) has cancer. Apparantly this isn’t the first time, but it’s not at all good timing. Kristin is about to go into surgery and have a hysterectomy to remove the cancer. The doctors are hoping to save Kristin’s ovaries, but not really counting on it. They want the cancer removed completely.

I don’t know Kristin, and I haven’t seen Sam since we were 8th graders, but this is a hard time for them. They are asking for prayers for Kristin and for the continued good health of Baby Kaitlyn and of Sam. None of you have any connection to these people, but maybe you could pray for them, too? More prayers wouldn’t hurt, that’s for sure!

I am so proud to know Sam. I hope I can learn from her example of true friendship and selflessness. Sam is one of my heroes.

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5 responses to “The Act of Selflessness

  1. Wow. What an amazing woman your friend is! To do something so huge for a friend. What a selfless act that is.

    I will keep you, and your friend, and her friend and her unborn baby in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. Wow! What a woman! Ditto on all the abq mom said!

    And here is to hoping that we are all done with this round of pregnancy soon!

  3. Yay for Sam! That would be so hard to do, I can’t even imagine.
    We’ll definitly keep them all in our prayers.

    Oh yeah, tell her hi for me.

  4. I remember thinking during the comfortable part of my pregnancy that I’d be a surrogate if a family member needed it. (I remember specifically thinking a certain brother would need it.) Of course, that’s an easy thing to think philosophically, and when you’re comfortable, it’s a much bigger thing to actually DO and I really admire your friend.

    And I admire her friend for the fight she’s in.

    And you, because you find such beauty and good in so many people. I admire you, too.

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