Still Alive… Or Am I????

I love to write on my blog. I really do. I just don’t have the energy to keep up with this right now. I don’t have the energy to even turn the computer on each day. So I don’t. I don’t want to hear that whirring sound coming from the tower. I don’t want to deal with Dallin wanting to help me type or Aiden wanting to sit on the bed behind me playing XBox. I just want to sit on the couch and watch some TV, maybe take a nap, or read a book.

I just finished reading “The Red Tent” by Anita Diamant. I had heard of this book before (it was a New York Times best seller, afterall), and I had heard a lot of good things about it. It really was interesting to read, but I’m not sure if I would recommend it to most of you. If you want to hear some of the story of Jacob, Rebekah, Leah, Joseph (and his 11 brothers), but you are strict into what the Bible says about the story, I don’t think you’ll like it. That said, it really was a good a read. I like to read things that don’t get me too caught up in word usage, but still makes me have to think. I like to use my brain.

The other book I just finished reading is “Leaving Patrick” by Prue Leith. also a good read. Apparantly the author normally writes cookbooks, so there is definitely a good description of food in the book, but it certainly doesn’t overtake the story (which is what I heard happened in the book “Under the Tuscan Sun”… apparantly it went on and on describing food and had very little left in the story. Wonder how they made a movie out of that.). This was a fun read, but careful, ladies! I know some of you won’t like some of the sex talk. It’s not too descriptive, but there is a bit of it in there. And I liked the ending. It’s nice to read a book and have it end just the way you think it should! 🙂

*****

Dallin finally figured out how to clap on Tuesday! He normally loves to take a hold of my thumbs and clap my hands together, so I’ve been trying to show him how to clap his own hands together. It’s so adorable. We went to winterguard rehearsal that afternoon, and some kids were playing on the drums (which both of my boys absolutely love). Dallin would listen for a moment, then smile really big and clap.

*****

Aiden’s newest phrase has come from something you would hardly believe. HA! Of course he gets it from Star Wars. Last week I told him to do something (like “Get down off of the bookshelf!” or something similar). What was Aiden’s reply??

“You are not my father.”

I couldn’t help but laugh the first time because it was so unexpected. I responded with, “No, but I am your mother, so you must do as I say. And your father will certainly hear about this!”

Thank you, Star Wars, for giving my 3-year-old ammunition and the know-how to talk back. This is a very new thing.

*****

On Good Morning America the other morning they had a segment about the “mommy wars”. It was interesting as they had some author touting her new book and research saying that stay-at-home mothers are horrible women, boring women, and doing a disservice to working mothers and are bad examples to young daughters. She used her reading of “online journals” to read the SAHM’s descriptions of their days and said, “This cannot be fulfilling. These supposedly smart women are boring and do not live up to their potential.” She even stated that it is a waste to send women to university to get degrees if they are not going to use their education. Oh, and she said that SAHMs are selfish and having more than one child is selfish if you are a working mother.

I am not going to comment any more on this “woman” other than to say that she is sadly mistaken. She is trying to pick some sort of fight that really doesn’t need to exist, and she obviously has no children of her own. I consider myself a SAHM, but I also work part time here and there (color guard isn’t exactly a steady job, you know). I had just read an article in Redbook magazine talking about the “mommy wars” and they have found that most women just want to do what is best for their family and they try not to judge other women for their choices. In the past there has been two general camps: the SAHMs and the Working Moms. However, they have found more and more women that are more of “in-betweens”. People like me who stay home, but work part time or have really flexible schedules.

Mothers of the world, rejoice that we have a choice to stay home, work part-time, or work full-time. No one can make the decision for you and your family except for you, and don’t let anyone get you down about your decision. We are all just trying to do the best that we can, right?

****

Which reminds me… At band rehearsal last night we had to fill out some forms with our names and such to put on the concert program in April. We were also to fill in our occupation (or retired from occupation, as is the case for about half the band). At first I penciled in my occupation as “mother”, but I decided to make it a little fancier. I erased that and wrote “domestic engineer”. After rehearsal, as Ches and I were leaving, one of the other trumpet players came to me, just laughing and laughing.

“I just read what you wrote as your occupation,” he said. “That’s so great! Good one!”

Man, I sure wish I could say it was an original thought, but it’s not. I wonder if that’s what Mack will actually have put on the program next to my name, and what people will catch it as they read it. Have to wait until April to find out, I guess! 🙂

*****

Tomorrow I’m going to my quilting group. We are making a lap quilt with different 12 inch blocks so we can learn a lot of different techniques. I’m so excited. And now I must get the kids and go to the fabric store! WOOT!!

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14 responses to “Still Alive… Or Am I????

  1. That whole “Mommy Wars” thing just infuriates me… I’m just not going to even get started.

    Okay no, I will just say this… Why can’t people just live and let live? Make the choice that’s right for you and let me make the choice that’s right for me. We don’t have to agree, but we SHOULD be respectful. (As opposed to calling names and making up accusations about what I’m teaching my children.)

    I LOVE my choice to be a SAHM. It’s my life, my family, my choice… So what does it matter to anyone else?

    Grrr Okay, I’m better now.

  2. The “Mommy Wars have been going on since the 1940’s when the men returned from WWII and women were mostly expected to retire from the workplace and go back home. Many were happy to do just that, but others wre not. Originally, the women’s movement worked toward men being paid a “living wage” so one income could support a family and mothers could stay home. The my generation (I hang my head in shame) started going into the workforce in droves. At first, it was like the previous generation–just until you got married and settled down…but the standard of living rose, and so did prices…and the spiral continues until we’re back to needing more than one income to support a family.

    I’ll never forget my highschool friend who during a conversation in humanities class about the family size we one day hoped to have, was agast at the many of us who wanted 7 or 8 kids. She sputtered, “They’ll be breathing MY air!” She happened to be at the hopital when Sariah was born, so came to see us. She cooed over my baby–her attitude was compleyely changed. She’s had a wonderful operetic and Broadway career and has never married. The last time I saw her, I proudly told her of my five kids–she did not complain that I had too many etc. as she grew up, so did her views. Not everyone should have a large family, but not everyone should have a limit of one or two children. Not everyone wants or is best at being a SAHM (my mother, once we kids were all in school preferred to work during school hours) but not everyone is best working outside the home either. If everyone did so, who would be the room mothers at school? Who would be the safehouse in the neighborhood? Who would fill all those volunteer positions all over the country?

    The US military wives used to fill many many hours with volunteer work. Since so many wives now work, many of those volunteer jobs have had to become paid positions. Others just do not get done. It makes military life much harder for everyone.

    As is so often true, what we saw in the military a generation ago, has come to be true of the wider population.

    The SAHM’s are a neccessity to the survival of our culture. They are the ones who pass on the traditions. They do it for their own families as well as for others within their spere of influence.

    So…make your choice for you and your family. The choice this year may be different in 5 years and diufferent again in 10, but we do have the freedom in North America to make that choice. Don’t let anyone push you where you don’t want to be.

    I’ll step off the soapbox now. Sorry, Sariah.

  3. Gee, that woman sure is getting a lot of press coverage for her book, isn’t she? Wonder why? Wonder if it would be the same if she wrote, “Let’s just try to get along, shall we?” Not likely.

  4. I have a lot of thoughts in my head, so I’ll try to get some of them to come out coherently.

    First of all, I’m glad that you posted again, Sariah. I’ve missed reading your posts. I tried to call you today, but there was no answer, so I’ll try again tomorrow.

    I wish I could see Dallin clap! That sounds so cute, especially that he was clapping for the drums. Aiden is also adorable, even if he is learning to backtalk. Good comeback for him, by the way.

    And my little comment on the “Mommy Wars” as a lot has been said already. I am working on my Master’s Degree. I’m very happy that I’m getting it, and I’ve been working hard to get it. I’m proud of myself. The fact that I won’t be using my degree for many years, if ever (depending on what ends up happening in my life) is entirely beside the point. I am a mom, and I love it. I want nothing more than to stay at home with my son. That may change, it may not. But I am happy and fulfilled, and it is a good life for me. That is my choice, and I am blessed to be able to make it. I have a husband who will support any decision I make concerning my career, and I have the freedom to do what makes me happy. We all do. Anyone who has the attitute that that woman has makes my blood boil, as they don’t know what it is they’re condemning. Ok, I don’t want to go on with that and get more mad, so I’m done now.

  5. I don’t think I’m going to comment on the woman. My post still stands. I missed the article and I don’t think I would have enjoyed it so… I however am glad to hear from you.

    I too have read a bit this last month and I think I may post about those books later.

    Looking forward to your next post and take a nap.

  6. Glad to read a post by you, a pleasant surprise today. And, I’ll just agree with everyone needs to make the deicision that is right for their family and say this. I may be a SAHM but I use my college education every single day. 🙂

  7. glad to see you around grace. 😉

    i’m disappointed with mommy wars. i haven’t heard of one sword fight. not one.

    that’s just wrong.

  8. Glad to have you back Sariah, I’ve missed you! You know how I feel about SAHM! I have my degree, I am a mom of 2, hopefully 3 soon, and I love my life! If someone else is so unsure of themselves and the position they are in their life and thus have to slam the rest of us…so be it. I feel bad for her. It would be nice if she could just learn to be happy with what she has chosen to do and let the rest of us do the same. Of course, Satan wants us all to be miserable like him. Why not work on this lady and see if she will sway the rest of us!

    Anyway, I miss you tons and wish I could see the boys and you and Ches all the time. Hopefully soon, right!

  9. So you guys don’t think she has a point at all? I mean, why spend thousands of dollars for an education you won’t use? It does seem like a waste of money, and of space because you could hae taken someone’s spot at a college that would actually use their degree for a job.
    And for those of you that say she must not be confident in herself or whatever, I disagree. Think of the mini-uproar that’s going on right here. It takes a lot of guts to do what she’s doing. Guts=confidence.
    Maybe it’s just because of this sort of focus audience that Sariah holds. Most of you went to a mormon college where you were expectated to get married (now don’t say I don’t know, I’ve heard from my friends at BYU this year). That’s way different that the majority or American college women. Or think about it this way: How much married student housing (for undergrads) does BYU or BYU-I have? A lot. My school? Zippo. I’ve talked to a few juniors and seniors and they said they’ve never heard of anyone here getting married as undergrads. But it’s common in the mormon culture. That’s the difference in the arguement: One will side with one’s culture. You can’t help but side with what you’ve been taught. I’m not saying that’s right or wrong, but that doesn’t exactly help an open mind, does it?

    I will now run and hide with all my friends so you guys don’t kill me…

  10. Laurel: I hope Sariah has filled you in on the fact that we’re in Oh, so when you want to visit Kirtland, we will supply you with a base of operations if you like.

    Erica, A lot of what you say is true. However, it is important for anyone who wants a college education tio be able to get one. I am the perfect example–uyou never know when you may need to use that degree to support your family even if your preference would be to stay at home with your kids. Thing can happen: spousal loss of job, divorce, death (I’ve known personally three widows wheo never in their wildest dreams thought they’d have to support their kids alone…one was a policeman in a quiet small town, killed in the line of duty–the first officer in his jurisdiction to do so. And ten years later, he was still the only one. Another died in a car accident. The third from a “sport’s injury”–quite minor, but it became infected, and that is what killed him. You just never know.
    Why should anyone be denied an education? As mothers we use our educations–you must admit that I have and continue so to do.
    And, FF, I’m ready to take up a sword–but I suggest thnbat Lura would do a much better job as swordfighting was part of her education!!!
    So there, Erica!

  11. I think it interesting that the women who CHOOSE to stay at home often are more openminded and respectful of others’ PERSONAL choices than the women who CHOOSE to work full time and have others raise their children. Just interesting.

    BTW…being a “SAHM” is not LDS specific. There are millions of non LDS women in the world who also CHOOSE this. That just seems an ingorant argument.

    K.

  12. I just want to say that all of us SAHM are using our education for a job. Being a mom is a huge job, one you never get vacation from!

    According to this, we are saving the world a lot of money that we should be getting paid!

    You may have read this information before somewhere. In the Idaho State Journal was an article on the monetary value of a parent who stays at home rather than at a job. Two quotes from the mother interviewed,” To find a part-time job and justify the cost of day care and juggling schedules, just was too hard. You also have to figure in the cost of going to work, gas and eating out. I would also have to get a new wardrobe because I haven’t worked regularly in three years.” “It’s not purely economics, I just don’t want my children in day care full time.” The article showed that the stay-an-home parent(generally referred to as Mom is worth more than $131,000 yearly, based on the average annual salaries of the work that she performs at the home.

    Sounds like it should be a pretty good paying job to me!

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