Things That Make You Go "Hmmmm"…

I got this in my email today, and while I’m sure I’ve gotten it before and you have all gotten it, I got a good giggle out of it. Enjoy.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE…… The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.


14 responses to “Things That Make You Go "Hmmmm"…

  1. Okay I’m thinking of my three closest BLOGGER friends. It very well COULD be me!!! 😛 I’m the one that came up with the hairbrained scheme to get us all back together again in the first place. I AM THE CRAZY ONE!

  2. hmmmmm, that was awfully self-centered of me to assume I am one of said friends.

    That’s something that makes me go “hmmmm.”

  3. I second the insufficient funds. I can’t afford those fees! They should charge my fee to the rich people, instead…

  4. Actually, I know that I’m the crazy one. Just had a conversation with Ches about this last night (although he fell asleep, so probably doesn’t remember any of it). I’m the crazy one with a mental illness. I can prove it because I’m the one that has to take the stupid medication just to be a nice, normal, happy person. AAAHHHH!! Watch out of post partum girl! (that should be my new superhero name)

  5. I can tell that post was not written by a Canadian. A Canadian would not let the person who rammed their ankle apologize, then say it’s all right. A Canadian would apologize to the person who rammed their ankle.

    Sad but so very true.

  6. Sariah, you cannot possible be IT, because I am, and so that’s at least two out of four. I think it’s the hormones! :/


  7. Sariah–I admit it, the craziness is inherited–and that was NOT a slam against your father! After all, I’m the one who used to say something about what it would be like when I go through menopause and get crazy–and my wonderful–and he really is–husband would say, “How could we tell?” Remember?

    I’m surprised Richard hasn’t weighed in yet with his question: What word in the English language is spelled with no vowels? Hmmm. And my Q?: how many times did he catch me with that one?

  8. Well, Heather at least Dana said her three closest blogger friends… I wonder who the third lemming is… I mean, obviously you and I are the first two 😉 I wonder who the third is…

    Oh, and I am self centered enough for the both of us GUAHAHAHA!

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