Idiot. Gosh!

[Note: The title needs to be read as if you were Napolean Dynomite. It only works that way.]

So apparantly I’m the only person in the entire world who doesn’t know that you can’t just stop taking antidepressants cold turkey. You’re supposed to taper off. I find this out after not taking mine for 6 days now.

Boy, am I the world’s biggest idiot or what?

Now I’m majorly crashing. I’m crying at anything and everything. I want to rip the heads off of some people. And I feel as if I’m going to pass out about every 10 minutes or so. Oh yeah, and if I get too upset, I might just throw up, too.

In my defense: I honestly didn’t know! No one told me! I don’t have any insurance at the moment (I don’t understand Medicaid. I send everything in I’m supposed to, they take forever to look at it, then send me more forms to fill out and a note saying to prove certain income that I already sent them!!), and we don’t have any extra money, so I can’t get my prescription refilled. I was just waiting until I get this Medicaid thing straigtened out, then I would get my refill. Or so I thought.

When I walked in from marching band rehearsal this morning, Ches said “How are you this morning?” and I just burst into tears. Again. I couldn’t even talk. He then handed me a credit card and said, “Go get your refill. I thought all this time you needed to go to a doctor. I didn’t understand that you just needed a refill.”

My wonderful husband. He just wants me happy. He spent the morning cleaning the kitchen, calling on getting our camera repaired, balancing the checkbook, folding laundry, and picking up our room and the living room. He should have been doing homework or practicing. Instead, he is trying to help and support me. What a good man. I’m so glad I married him.

As soon as Dallin wakes up, I’m off to Wal-Mart. Hopefully it won’t take a week or two to get back to Happy Sariah Land. Right now, this just sucks.


5 responses to “Idiot. Gosh!

  1. When i was on medicaid when we were in Oklahoma I had to do a daily call to their office until I annoyed them into doing my paperwork (this was well beyond 6 months after I first turned it in, and after sending in all the information 3 times). It still took several weeks for them to finish it. Good luck!!

    I hope you’re feeling better soon. I’ve never really had depression, but I assume its no fun. Exercising always helps if I’m feeling blue. And then killing the exercise with a big pizza. ahhhhhh šŸ™‚

  2. Sariah, I am NOT a medical expert so this is only anecdotal from someone who did have clinical depression once and took medication for it. Coming off the medication is difficult. What I did was, at the same time as I tapered off the prescription medication, I started taking St. John’s Wort (which is prescribed medication for depression in Germany, but only considered an herbal remedy in North America). If you ever want to talk about this, you know how to get in touch with me — but it certainly sounds like you and your wonderful husband are handling things just fine.

    I am so sorry about your paperwork hassles. Keep on at them! They can’t stall forever. Don’t give up before they do!

  3. Oh my goodness. I’ve taken SSRI’s (both of which were antidepressants) and I never had a good effect out of them, but yes, they have definite withdrawal symptoms – felt *those*! Poor baby… Ches is a lovely man for helping you as he has!

    -Angel, xoxo

  4. Sariah, keep your reciepts as well! Medicade will “backpay” you for anything medical that you had to buy while they were processing. About the only good thing that they actually do…

    Remember that many of us truly know your pain… I even did the cold turkey thing (they didn’t tell me either!)

  5. hey s- i hope you’re feeling a bit better since this post.

    i wonder if you could have explained the situation to your pharmacist and if they’d “spotted” you a few pills until it was sorted out. that sounds like a crazy idea, but if you have a history with the pharmacist, and especially when you have to stop a medication like that cold turkey, they can work with you. it’s happened to me before due to an insurance mishap. šŸ˜¦

    whatever the case, i hope this is sorted out quickly… and please just be kind to yourself right now.

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