Archive for November, 2008

Random (Black) Friday

November 28, 2008 at 11:31 am · Filed under Random Friday

I haven’t done Random Friday in quite a while, and Allison has started doing her own “Random Thought Thursday”, so that kind of kicked me in gear. Besides, I have a couple of things I wanted to say, but to devote separate posts to them just seemed kinda silly. I don’t know. So… here’s me and all (or maybe just some) of my randomness…

*****

I never really considered myself an obsessive Twilight fan, but several of you have mentioned in the comments for my last post or in other places that I’m obsessed. It’s kind of funny to me. I even wrote a post about how I like Twilight, but I LOVE Harry Potter and I LOVE Buffy the Vampire Slayer more.

I still don’t consider myself an obsessed fan, but I definitely have become more obsessed with Twilight than I was. I told my friend Kelly that I think part of it has to do with those feelings of “new love” or of a new relationship that I just don’t have anymore. Remember when you first fell in love and it was all you could do to contain yourself until you saw your significant other? Remember how your heart would flutter at the sight of him, and a giggle might even escape your lips when someone else mentioned his name? When you are first in love, your world revolves around him and just having him hold your hand is the best feeling in the world. Edward and Bella have that, and I don’t. I still love Ches, make no mistake about that. I love him more deeply now than ever, and I still miss him when he’s not with me during the day, but things are different after 10 1/2 years of marriage. Those feelings of new-ness are completely gone, and we’ll never have that again. I’m not even saying that I really want to experience that again because it’s such an awkward time, where you’re always trying to put on your best face and wondering “how can he possibly feel this same way about me???”. But I admit that I kind of miss it. Things are very comfortable now. Not exciting and new. I like comfortable. I like being secure in my feelings and knowing what his feelings are. But every now and then I crave being a teenager again or being newly in love just for the excitement factor. So I live vicariously through Edward and Bella. And I guess that is making me a little obsessed. Hmmm. I need to think on this some more.

*****

Speaking of Twilight… I forgot to mention a couple of things about the movie that I liked and/or observed. First off… the casting. I mentioned that I liked the casting job overall. When I saw Carlisle, my first thought was “How very Tom Cruise-like”. Didn’t you think they made Carlisle look an awful lot like Lestat in Interview With A Vampire? Then there was Jasper. I like Jasper in the books, even though we don’t see a whole lot of him. But in the movie, well, Kelly and I started laughing as soon as we saw him. So very Edward Scissorhands. I hope they fix that before the next movie.

The other thing I liked was some of the subtle bits they threw in… like in the scene in the cafeteria when Bella knocks an apple the the ground, but Edward catches it with his foot, kicks it up, and holds it in his hands. Then you get this nice shot that is exactly like the book cover. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the most subtle of things, but I still got a kick out of it.

And third… I didn’t know Forks, Washington was a real town! I feel so silly. I just assumed Stephenie Meyer made it up, but I guess not. Forks, La Push, the reservation… all real places. Hmmmm.

*****

Aiden lost his first tooth in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner yesterday! He’s so funny about it. He just couldn’t stop grinning and telling us how happy he was. A few days ago he was crying because he hadn’t lost any teeth yet and I guess everyone else in his class has. We found a loose tooth right away, and he’s been wiggling it ever since. Aiden had some trouble eating because he said it hurt, but once that tooth was gone, he was fine.

The Tooth Fairy made it’s first appearance to our house last night. Aiden got a quarter for his tooth and an extra quarter because it was his very first tooth. Very exciting stuff!

*****

I guess we’re not doing the “Elusive Elf” at school after all (although I really, really liked Karen’s idea of the elf being Legolas. I could totally go for that one!!). I got the notification in my mailbox, and it’s being called “The Green Fairy”. On Day 1 our gifts are supposed to be “regifts” from something at home, Day 2 we are supposed to make a hat or something wearable from recyclable materials that we have around the house, Day 3 we give a gift of something edible (either homemade or store bought), Day 4 we are supposed to write a funny poem or note or something, and Day 5 is just a gift for under $10 and will be exchanged at the staff party… whenever that is. I did sign up to take part in the activity because I feel like while I’m working there I should really try to be apart of things. I hate feeling like an outsider. I’m making an effort.

*****

I didn’t get up to do any shopping today for black Friday. While some of the deals are enticing, I just don’t have any desire to get up extremely early or to camp out all night at a store just to get an XBox for super cheap. We just won’t get an XBox right now, and when we do, it’s worth the extra money to not freeze myself in a parking lot at 3 am. I like to sleep in.

*****

My birthday is less than a month away (Christmas Eve!!). As a reminder, I love dark chocolate with no nuts. :)

*****

I was in Target the other day picking up a few essentials and getting Aiden a new jacket, when I walked by the little girl’s clothes. I saw all the cute Christmassy dresses and sweaters, and I had an actual ache in my heart because I don’t have a little girl. It’s wierd.

I love my sons. It’s no secret that I would like to have a girl someday, but if I don’t I’m totally fine with it. Or so I thought. I have 3 boys and I’m used to that. Besides, after teaching the Young Women and doing color guard for so long, I love teenage girls but I really really love not living with them. Girls are so dramatic! Every little thing becomes a big thing. And girls are so mean! They play these mind games and hold grudges for what seems like an eternity. When boys have a problem with each other, they punch it out and are friends again. Or they are at least done with the problem. Girls are not like that. Girls are complicated. I’m a girl. I know this. So I’ve been very grateful that I get to raise all boys.

But I still had an ache in my heart and a yearning for a daughter. Maybe I should take Ches up on his offer to get me a doll to dress up.

*****

Today is the day after Thanksgiving. For me, that means one thing: The start of Christmas! I’m going to go put on some Christmas music, then clean downstairs so we can put up our tree and start decorating. I love Christmas decorations! I love Christmas music! I love Christmas shopping! I love Christmas cards! This really is the most wonderful time of the year. For me. :)

Comments (8)

Twilight Movie and Music

November 25, 2008 at 11:21 pm · Filed under Books, Review, movies, music

No Spoilers! Read at will!! :)

Last Thursday at 11:15, p.m., I stood outside a Harkins Theatre in Chandler and waited for my friend Kelly. I was attending my first midnight showing of a movie. I was going to see Twilight. I was excited! Kelly brought me the t-shirt she had finished for me (her printer is better than mine, so she printed out the iron-ons and got the shirt ready for me to wear). It was a maroon shirt, and on the front said “Edward prefers brunettes” and a really cool looking “Team Edward” on the back. I got several compliments on my shirt. :)

I wasn’t a crazed enough fan to come sit at the theatre at 2 in the afternoon, and Kelly was out doing karaoke with some friends before she came to the movie, so we ended up in the second row of the theatre. We were both in a good mood and didn’t let it bother us. A theatre worker came in at one point to make some sort of announcement then, almost as an after-thought, stated, “Oh, and the new Harry Potter trailer is on some of these prints, but we don’t know which theatres. It may just be this one!” And with a wicked grin, he left. I then spent the next several minutes waving my hands at the screen as if I was performing some sort of charm and chanted, “Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!”

The lights went down, the previews were starting, and some people cheered. Someone yelled “Chill out!” and Kelly and I laughed at the idea that we had been trasnsported back to the early 90’s. Apparantly my chanting/charm worked, because we did get to see the new Harry Potter trailer. It was awesome by the way. I can not wait for July. And yes, I’m still bitter that they pushed the release date back so far. I could have waited a few more weeks for Twilight. I’m more obsessed with Harry than with Edward (although I’m more in love with Edward! heh).

I liked the movie. Yes, it was different from the book, but what movie based on a book isn’t different? Most of the changes weren’t bad (although I liked the character of Angela as she is in the books, and Jessica seems way more mean-spirited in the movie), and while things don’t always match up to the pictures in my head (while that is impossible, that sure would be cool!), I liked the casting and the scenery. Gorgeous. On both accounts.

The guys in this movie just take your breath away. It’s serious eye candy, ladies. Like I told my friend Katie (who is “Team Jacob” because she’s likes a bad boy. But Katie, seriously, how much more bad boy can you get than a frickin’ vampire??? Maybe that’s just the Buffy fan in me coming out), when you go to this movie, you need to bring a fan. And I like Rob Pattinson as Edward. I liked him as Cedric. No, he didn’t match the character in my head either time, but I think he’s great anyway.

I enjoyed the movie, and I stayed awake through it (hey, it had been a long day! And I have a friend from church that went to the midnight showing and she did fall asleep for a good chunk of it, she said). So yeah, I recommend it. I do want to see it again, mainly because I’d like to see the entire screen without having to bounce my eyes from one end to another to get everything in. I still love some other things more than Twilight, but I’m becoming more and more of an obsessed fan. It’s kind of funny.

Kelly bought the soundtrack online and burned me a copy. She also bought our movie tickets online, so she got a bonus track of Bella’s Lullaby Remix, so she put that on my CD, too. The soundtrack has the bands Muse, Paramore, Linkin Park, Collective Soul, MuteMath, Blue Foundation, The Black Ghosts, Perry Farrell, and even Rob Pattinson himself has a song on there (hmmmm… cute and a musician! I like him even more!!).

I. Love. This CD.

My friends, I have not listened to anything else since I got this CD. I won’t even let my kids listen to Ghostbusters or Thriller (their favorite songs du jour) when they ask, answering with, “Mommy needs to listen to Twilight!!” I’m completely taken in by the first few tracks especially, but I love it all. Every song chosen feels as if it was a song chosen specifically for me and my taste in music. I am recommending to strangers in the store to buy the soundtrack! I don’t do that!! This music just consumes me and fuels my new obsession. I can’t wait to get in my van and listen to it some more (I need to upload it to my computer and Ipod still). I re-read Twilight today with the soudtrack going in the back of my mind. WOW. I’m about to go back to Stephenie Meyer’s site to re-read Midnight Sun.

So yeah, go see the movie (if you haven’t already), but I really, really recommend buying the soundtrack. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get in Edward’s head with the help of Muse and Paramore.

Comments (7)

Come Again?

November 21, 2008 at 10:38 am · Filed under holiday, teaching

I’m not that happy with my job right now. The kids are great, and the school is really a good enviroment to work in, but I just don’t fit in there. I’m not an early childhood teacher, and I’m not a general music teacher. I’m a secondary instrumental teacher, and I feel waaaaaay more confident in that area. I’ll make it through the school year, and I think I’ll be done. Things will be fine, but I’m sure there will still be lots of things there that baffle and confuse me.

Yesterday, at lunch, the “elusive elf” was brought up. It was explained to me that it’s like a secret Santa for the staff, but since not everyone celebrates Christmas, they have the Elusive Elf instead.

Ummm, aren’t elves the helpers to Santa Claus??? I don’t get it.

Once again, I’m somewhere where everyone is so concerned about “all inclusion” and not offending anyone that I don’t think it has been completely thought through. Maybe it’s just me, though.

Comments (5)

The 3 Day Walk

November 18, 2008 at 8:05 pm · Filed under The 3 Day

What can I say about The 3 Day?  If you have seen my pictures on Facebook or Flickr than you know most of what I want to talk about.  So… sorry for the repeats.  But there are some things I want to talk about that I don’t have pictures for.

It was really an amazing three days.  I was worried because of my back pain from earlier in the week.  It did affect my walking, and I wasn’t able to walk ALL 60 miles, but I got most of it.  The first day started strong.  After opening ceremonies, we were off and walking.  It was about 7:30 in the morning.  The morning was actually quite chilly, so I had my jacket on for the first couple of miles, but once the sun was really up, it felt a lot hotter than it was.  And yes, I got sunburned. 

It was really cool to see how many people were actually doing the walk, and it was even more cool to see how many people came out to cheer us on.  All weekend long people lined the streets. Many had cold water for us.  Some had Otter Pops, candy, chocolate, or fruit.  Girl Scouts came out to cheer for us and give us cards that said thank you.  One guy in Scottsdale handed out Trivial Pursuit cards (which at first we thought was kind of odd, but then we started reading the questions to each other and it was very entertaining. When some other walkers passed us, we traded cards so we had new questions. I thought it was a lot of fun!). Some people handed out buisness-like cards with someone’s name on it and a thank you for walking for that person and in honor of that person.  I saw one woman passing out water who was obviously in the middle of chemo.  She had no hair and she was very emotional as we walked and she yelled her thanks to us.  It was also very emotional for us to walk by her.  Some of the people lined up on the street carried signs or dressed up.  Some people drove by, honking and yelling.  It’s now ingrained in me to wave whenever I hear a car horn honk.  The people driving by over and over had signs and balloons… as one car so proudly announced, they were “Walker Stalkers”.  It made it easier to walk.  Really!
Save Our Boobs!

There were about five Pit Stops each day that had water and Gatorade for us to refill our water bottles with, food for us to snack on, a medical tent to take care of our blistered feet and aching knees, and, of course, tons and tons of port-a-potties. I’ll tell ya, after three days of using nothing but port-a-potties and hand wipes, I sure LOVE my flushing toilet and my sink with warm water and soap!!

We walked through many cities: Gilbert, Chandler, Mesa, Tempe, Guadalupe, Awatukee, Phoenix, and Scottsdale. We walked on busy roads and through quiet neighborhoods. They all knew we were coming, and the turnout was amazing. Some people met us at several Pit Stops. They dressed up and were very entertaining. We walked by a lot of schools. On Friday, when school was in session, we were met by students and teachers, all wearing pink, who were cheering like mad. I don’t know if some of those kids really knew what we were doing, but it sure felt good to have that support. We went by this school on a Saturday, and while no one was there, I loved the support they still gave:
Middle School Support

At another middle school, where we had a pit stop, the cheerleaders were there for hours on end on a Saturday, wearing their bras on the outside of their uniforms, and cheering for us as we walked into the pit stop. Cheers like, “Big or small… Save them all!” and “1,2,3… Shake your boobie!”

It’s funny because normally I’m not the type to talk about certain parts of your body. I think I’m a pretty modest person, but I’m not a prude. I just don’t talk about it. And I told Ches very early in our marriage and I hate the word “boobies”. But being on the walk, well, you kind of just throw all that out the window. Walkers were wearing bras on their shirts or as hats. Walkers and crew members made fake boobs and wore them on their shirts or as a hat (sorry, I didn’t get any pictures of that). Teams had names like “Los Bombas”, “Breast Man Walking”, “Thanks for the Mammories”, “Tough Titties”, “Save the Ta-tas”, and “Walking for Boobs”. There is no being modest here. It’s all about the boobs! :)

The first day, once I was back in camp, I went to the shower trailer to take my shower. I had ordered the towel service, which meant instead of bringing my own towel and hoping it would dry, I was given two fresh towels each morning and each evening. It’s great… except that the towels are a little small. And the showers, while on a trailer, aren’t that private. So there I am, overweight, self-concious about stretchmarks and such, and trying to be modest while I dressed, but my towels were falling and I was frustrated. Finally I said out loud, “Man! There is just no being modest here is there??” The lady next to me chuckled and said, “This is your first walk, isn’t it?” I guess I gave it away! Heh. Anyway, the second day, I got on the trailer, took my shower, and when I was drying and dressing, I didn’t care about how naked I was. I realized that just as I wasn’t watching anyone else, no one else was watching me. AND it wasn’t like I was the only one there who was overweight or had obvious scars from having children. The women on this walk were definitely of all shapes and sizes. We weren’t there to compare perfect bodies. We were there to fight breast cancer!!

Camp was a cool place. There was the sleeping section, which was just a sea of pink tents. Then there was the eating area… it was one giant tent with tons and tons of long tables. The stage was set up there and we got entertainment the first night, then a kaorake contest. The second night we got to hear the stories of a couple of walkers, then watched a video made by the son of the founder of the Susan G. Komen foundation. This guy is Susan G. Koman’s nephew, and this year was his first year to do the 3 Day Walk, which he did in Chicago. After all the emotions of that night, there was a dance party (I went to bed to ice my knee, however). Another section of camp was kind of like a marketplace. Our sponsers (La Croix, New Balance, and Pepperidge Farms) each had a tent there for us to visit and relax and shop, as well as a tent to buy “Official 3 Day Gear”, a Post Office, and the “3 Day Cafe”, which had snacks for us to grab. That was a fun place to hang out and relax at night. The medical tent was a huge area with different sections for self-help (blisters), chiropractic care, sports therapists, and a section for the really serious injuries.Camp

Then there was the Remebrance tent. Outside of this tent were small white tents which were the same size as the pink tents we were sleeping in… one for each city that held a walk. All the previous tents were written on by the participants of that city, except for the San Diego tent. Their walk is this weekend. The Arizona tent was inside a large tent. This tent held pictures of women who had been walkers and crew members but have lost their battle with breast cancer. There were journals for us to write our thoughts in. It was very moving, and not one person walked out of there with a dry eye.

Well, this post is far too long. To be continued… ;)

Comments (7)

WHY??? (A Complain-y Post. Be Ye Warned.)

November 10, 2008 at 12:31 am · Filed under Church, Family, Friends, Life in general, Living in Phoenix, My Crazy Mind, Rant, teaching

My 3 Day Walk is almost here, and I’m NOT ready.  I still have to raise $450 (or it comes out of my pocket… guess who is giving up her next two paychecks????), my period started today (I haven’t had it since the beginning of September… I’m so unpredictable… it couldn’t wait ONE more week???  I won’t be done and comfortable by Friday!!), and this evening I wrenched my lower back (OH!  The pain!  I can’t move… I can’t stand up straight… ).

I still need to either borrow or buy an airmattress so I don’t have to sleep on the ground.  I still need some proper clothes to wear (I only have one actual pair of capris that I’ve been walking in, and I’m not wearing the same pair for 3 days in a row), and I need a new waist pack (mine is super small and only holds one water bottle, my cell phone, my driver’s license, and a small amount of cash and I need to hold 2 water bottles, my cell phone, body glide, chapstick, cash, ID, bandaids/moelskin, and an extra pair of socks to change at lunch time).  

I had a rotten day at church today.  The kids in primary can be so obnoxious.  Our primary program is in two weeks, and since I won’t be here next Sunday, we didn’t have Sharing time today, just singing time.  The kids groaned no matter what song I said we were about to sing.  They wouldn’t follow direction, kept talking to their neighbors, and some just flat out wouldn’t sing.  In Senior primary, when I mentioned I wouldn’t be here, the kids cheered.  Thank goodness primary was over right after that, because as soon as the kids were out of the room, I seriously started crying.

Dallin won’t eat food.  Well, he’ll eat junk food, candy, and cereal.  He didn’t have lunch (it’s not unusual for him to skip a meal or two) or dinner, but only wanted milk to drink.  I wouldn’t let him have any milk until he ate some food.  He is one stubborn kid.  He never did get any milk.  I couldn’t even get him to take one measly bite of food.  So no milk, no dessert… nothing!  The kid worries the heck out of me with his constant refusal to eat.  And he’s not the skinny kid in the family.  How is he getting enough nutrition out of cereal and milk and tootsie rolls??  I don’t get it.

I stopped taking my medication for about 2 months.  I think it was only 2 months.  Anyway, things were not good, and Ches got me a refill.  I’ve been taking it, and I think overall it has helped, but now I’m getting migraines a lot.  I think Welbutrin is not right for me.  I might have to go back to Zoloft, but I hate the way Zoloft makes me feel when I forget to take it even once.  I get all dizzy and feel like I’m about to pass out at any second.  So… off to the doctor I must go to discuss my options.

I think my job is great, but I also think it sucks.  I am not a teacher of young kids.  My degree is in secondary education, and I think if I’m going to teach, that is where I should be.  As sweet as the kids are (most of the time), I’m just not enjoying it like I want.  I am a firm believer in doing what makes you happy.  If I’m going to leave my kids with someone else all day long, I’d better darn well LOVE what I’m doing, not just tolerate it.  And then there’s the whole discipline thing:  I think that most of the classes are fine.  I can handle a little bit of extra noise.  i mean, I’m not in a normal classroom, and these are all toddlers and preschoolers and young elementary school kids.  I don’t expect them to be able to come into a large, muti-purpose room and stay on task 100% of the time.  My methodology is to essentially ignore the little disruptions.  If I ignore them, they go away.  If they don’t go away, then I deal with it appropriately to the situation.  I am so tired of having other people in the school tell me to always be right on top of these kids… to not even give them an inch… blah blah blah.  Just let me handle my classes, thank you very much.  If I have major issues, I will let you or the lead teacher (who is where I’d go to first, anyway) know and we will come up with a plan.  But I just don’t think things are THAT BIG A DEAL, so stop instructing me EVERY DAY on how to teach and discipline my classes.

I’ve been having a real hard time just enjoying my life.  It’s so easy to put on a fake smile and pretend that everything’s great, but I’m getting sick of faking it.  I’m pretty sick of being so lonely.  I go to the park with my kids for the playgroups and I try to talk to the other moms, but I just don’t feel all that comfortable.  One day, after school, one kid had his skateboard at the park.  This other kid, who is probably in 2nd grade, was riding on the other kid’s skateboard, on his knees, when he feel forward and hit his head on the cement.  Of course he starts crying for his mom, but she isn’t there.  Their house is literally across the street. So he immediately runs home.  The other moms say he’s not the type of kid to take comfort from anyone else, but he ran home, so I’m not thinking it’s a big deal.  Then one mom says very emphatically, “THIS is why you come to the park!  You have to watch your kids!”  The other moms all start agreeing and nodding their heads, and they are all talking around this one point, and all I’m thinking by now is “CUT THE APRON STRINGS!”  The kid is old enough to be by himself at the park across the street!  I let Aiden go to the park now all the time without me.  I don’t let Dallin or Parker go, but Aiden, I feel, is old enough to be able to play without my constant supervision.  The park is visible from my house, and Aiden has certain rules he knows and follows (like he is either at the park or at home… he doesn’t go to anyone else’s house, EVER, for anything), so I don’t really worry too much.  You can not watch your kid 100% of the time, ladies!  Let them learn to be responsible for themselves at some point!  (The mom most vocal has kids both older and younger than the hurt boy)  I’m also thinking that if this is how you are talking about someone who isn’t here, what are you saying about me, behind MY back!  Sometimes I’m not there, at the park, when the bus comes in the afternoon.  I would like Aiden to come home first, but most of the time he just stays at the park and plays (because all the other kids are staying and playing), and a couple of the moms mentioned that they have tried telling him to go home and check in with me and whatever.  So I’m wondering what exactly are they saying to each other when I’m not there.  If they are going to say stuff about the one mom and be SO rude about it, I can only assume you do it to me, too.

I’m sick of trying to make friends, but not succeeding.  I just don’t feel a part of anything, no matter what functions or casual meet-ups I attend.  I feel like an outsider.  I miss my old ward and my old friends.  I miss other places we’ve lived because I had such great wards and friends.  I loved my callings, and I loved the friends I had and the plans that we made.

I miss autumn.  It’s my favorite season.  Arizona just doesn’t get an autumn.  It goes from HOT hot hot hot hot summer, to summer, to a mild “winter” (which feels like summer to some of you, perhaps), to summer, and back to HOT hot hot hot hot summer.  It was in the 70’s all last week and it was wonderful!!  Aiden wore a jacket to school each morning (hey, it wasn’t in the 70’s yet that early in the morning) and the boys wore pants instead of shorts and I got cold enough to want hot chocolate at night.  Not that I ever need it to be cold to drink hot chocolate.  It’s just nicer.  But I miss a real autumn, with a cool wind, changing leaves, wearing sweaters and scarves, and seeing my breath in the morning before school (I can do without scraping frost off the car windows in the morning, however).

So, now you know why I haven’t written in a while.  When it rains, it pours.  I have tons more I could complain about, but I need to go to bed and get some sleep before another “fun” day of work tomorrow.  Oh, and I have to pray REAL hard that my back is better so i can function.  I guess tomorrow I gotta try to see a chiropractor.  I can’t let this be like when I hurt my back a couple months ago.  It was a couple of weeks before I was back to normal.  It sucked!!!!

Comments (13)